This post is going to be a little different. I know I haven't posted anything in a while and here is why:
As some of you may know, my business (Southern Side Accessories) is a very small business right now. I have always worked a job while trying to create my jewelry. At the end of January, I interviewed and accepted a corporate position, here in Colorado where I live (the company shall remain nameless for personal reasons). I was given my own office in a high rise building downtown and everything was great! I felt like I had actually "made it". I worked eight to five, Monday through Friday. I woke up at five in the morning, dressed in my professional attaire and joined the traffic as I commuted downtown. I parked my car in a parking garage and walked to my office building like everyone else in their suits, shiny shoes and big winter overcoats. I crossed the street with everyone else, took the elevator to my office, unlocked the door, opened the blinds to my window so I could see all of downtown, sat at my desk and started my work day. By the time the end of the day rolled around, I would close my blinds and lock up my office. I would walk to the parking garage, take the elevator to my car and began the journey (in traffic) home. By the time I got home every night, I was starving and exhausted. I would usually get home between six and six-thirty every night. My normal routine would be to eat, watch TV for an hour or less, then go to bed so I could start my day all over again in the morning. The job was stressful, but I was handling it. I felt like I could actually grow in the position, with the company.
Since the beginning of November, I had been battling with a health issue (to keep my privacy, it won't be named). So monthly check ups with my doctor was a necessity. I endured a painful procedure in the middle of December and got the good news that everything was "normal". By the time I had accepted my new position with my job, I believed that my health issue had been sorted out, and everything was back the way it should be.
Come the beginning of February I became aware, though symptoms, that nothing had been sorted out with my health, so I started my on-going battle yet again. On February thirteenth, I took a part of my day off to go to a scheduled doctor's appointment. It was there that I found out my fate; the doctor wanted to do another procedure. But this time, it was going to be actual surgery. As I sat on the exam table, listening to my nurse talk, I knew right then that my new career was going to struggle. I started stressing out about the amount of time I would need to take off to get this whole thing sorted out. But I was hoping, in the event of everything, that my job would understand and give me the time I needed to get my health back in order and heal.
On February fourteenth, Valentine's Day, I woke up in the morning with a severely swollen throat and almost no ability to talk. I called into my work and asked if I could work from home. They allowed me to...reluctantly. I made a doctor's appointment for a little later in the day and started my work day from home. Later that morning I received a phone call from my manager. She stated that they (the company) did not anticipate my health issues and the time that would be needed to regain my health. They are a growing company and they were "concerned" about the amount of time I had already needed to take off, not including the surgery I would face in March. They felt the "timing" wasn't right and they needed someone in the office that would be healthly and "career oriented". My manager stumbled over her words, but I knew what was coming. She decided to discuss my current standing with her boss and said she would get back in touch with me. I knew what the decision already was. After my doctor's appointment, in the next phone call from my manager, when I was asked what I have to say in my defense, I just simply stated, in a strained voice, that my health comes first and I can't be stressed out and worried everytime I need to make an appointment to see my doctor. It was then that I was released from my position and asked to mail in my office keys and parking pass. I hung up devastated and in tears. How could my chance at this position be compromised? I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know what I was going to tell my husband, let alone my family and friends. I felt like I had not only disappointed my manager and everyone at my job, but I had disappointed everyone else who knew about my position. Everyone was "SO proud" of me...how could I allow my health to be a burden that ended my career? A career, might I add, that I had been working toward for a few years.
So there I sat....on my living room couch, drowned not only in my tears, but in my thoughts. "Now what?", I asked myself out loud. I didn't have the answer, and I feared that I never would; until yesterday. I had a meeting with my counselor and after spilling out my sadness, anger and frustration, she ended our session with these powerful words: "Honor the blessing". Everything that has happened up to this point has been a blessing. Life had to kick me in the head to make me realize that I don't belong in a corporate position, working under people. Right now, I belong in my home. I didn't lose a job, I had a better one waiting for me. My job right now is to relax and get healthy and stay creative, continue with this blog. And once I have recovered, continue with my business full force and maybe go back to school. I am SO blessed that I have this opportunity to take the time needed to get back on a healthy track; not only for my body, but for my mind and soul too.
So that is EXACTLY what I am going to do. I am going to honor the blessing, by listening to my body and my instincts. Take it one day at a time. Don't stress out and focus on me for once. I am not being selfish, I am just being smart. I needed this...I just didn't know how badly.
As always, thank you everyone for reading and for your support. Until next time...
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